I’m sure by now you’ve all read Christina’s posts about her disability and how her days usually go. I’m also sure that by now you’re curious about how I handle having a disabled wife. I think it’s time to clue you in, this is a blog about our life together after all.
Like all couples wifey and I have our hardships and we have great times too. We fight and bicker about money, time spent with each other, who has to take the dogs out. We have fun with each other and tease each other and laugh together. We also have parts to our relationship that the majority of couples don’t have, my wife was born with a disability that affects her mobility. This means that some everyday tasks are more difficult for her than others. For me it means helping her tie her shoes, going upstairs to grab something for her, helping her down the stairs because there isn’t a railing, carrying her plate to the table, pushing her in her wheelchair. Being with someone with a disability requires understanding, patience (which I don’t have very much of), a touch of empathy, and a good sense of humor. There are times when I want her to do a certain task or expect her to do something and get upset when she doesn’t do it or it’s taking forever for her to finish. Those are times when I have to step back and take a breath and think “is she able to do this?” Moments like those have become few and far between but in the early stages of our relationship I had to learn about her and what she could and couldn’t do. I had to be sure that I thought of her and her capabilities. As time went on I became quite knowledgeable about my wife and now it’s not a matter of “can she do it?” But “I’m not going to let her use her disability as excuse because I know she can.”
Now I don’t know what any of you readers believe about fate, destiny, or a higher power but I truly believe that Christina and I were fated to meet. I think that she is supposed to teach me patience and I am the one to show her unconditional love. I have never had a lot of patience, I was always the hurry up and go type of person. If wanted something done I wanted it done yesterday. Being with her and helping her with things is slowly teaching me to slow down and that things will happen in their own time. Don’t get me wrong there are definitely days where I am frustrated beyond belief because she is being pokey or all I want to do is sit down and she forgot something upstairs and needs me to get it. Eventually, usually a few hours later, my frustration passes and I feel like an ass. It’s part of life though, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and smooth sailing. It’s learning and adapting to your partner, it’s bickering and fighting because you’re frustrated, it’s holding them when they cry in pain or making them laugh when they are sad. Life is messy and unexpected, my life with Christina is definitely messy and she’s definitely not what I expected in a partner…..she’s so much better, disability or not.